dad, mom, and any teachers that are left: do not read this. just don’t. if you do it’s going to be awkward at christmas and im not ready for that.

from ontd:

i know this isn’t real, but i have to say: not putting out until you get married is a lot harder than you’d think.  i feel like there is maybe some underground, bro-code laden society that dudes tell each other to let each other know which girls put out and which ones don’t. like, one “brother” will be assigned to approach you unsuspectingly and “get to know you” aka, find out if i will widdle-woffer your heben-glober (those words are not real) and then when i do this face scrunch/neck scratch maneuver:

(there was no other way to describe it other than taking a picture)

and slowly mutter “but…im….abstinent,” they will know and then it’s like:

after the encounter, said man will go running back to all the other bros and enter my status into the “database” to know which woman to approach for tea at 2 (wink wink).  then, once its time to settle down (in the near future, of course,) they run back to me yelling “my mom will love you!!!!!! and you have huge knockers!!!!!! wait!!!!” because i have been told im a ~marrying kind of girl~. well f you guys, that comes about second to telling a fat girl “well, you have a really pretty face..”

anyways, this whole bro society would probably explain why i have never been approached by a male since…ever. 1) abstinence isn’t a blanket statement, its something different for everyone. some people won’t even hold hands with their boyfriends until they are married, and who knows what it is to tila tequila (click the link), so i guess maybe fuggos should know not just why but what it actually means/entails for me since everyone is different. 2) i am also not here to shart all over/cast judgment on everyone else who does put it out since its your body, do what you want! 3) good things come to those who wait…..YIPPPIE KI YAY MOTHERF-

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