at age twenty, jane austen began writing her magnum opus, pride and prejudice. bill gates was twenty when he dropped out of harvard and co-founded microsoft. sometimes i believe i’m destined to metaphorically expel half-digested wasabi peas out of my asshole forever. i feel as though i’m two steps and $20,000 away from pulling an eat, pray, love and just going to find myself in india. unfortunately that plan employs a whole lot of eastern mysticism/fetishism and with all the feminist theory i’ve been indulging in this semester, i don’t think i’ll be able to explore the deepest parts of myself at the expense of appropriating another culture. so what am i to do? life has just been a series of being a square peg in a round hole, making puns and being a pervert- sometimes all three at once. is there a field in which i can exploit this talent?

i’ve listened to the barbara streisand version of “don’t rain on my parade”  several times in the last 21 days if that tells you what type of mini quarter-life crisis i’m having (substitute: “kiss from a rose” by seal and “perfect day” by hoku). the other day i found myself getting surprisingly angry at the fact that nobody ever found amelia earhart. i’m going stir-crazy but unsure of how to quell the feeling that simultaneously plagues me and serves as a catalyst for most of my writing in the least taylor swift-y way possible: girl in small metropolis yearning to see the rest of the world. i’ve been in the same city for nearly two decades and starting to feel like charlie bucket about to hit an allegorical glass ceiling. the verisimilitude of that scene for me is gripping- 50% of the time, belching can get you out of sticky situations. however, these circumstances require more craftiness.

april fools day! how did you prank your friends and loved ones? i texted my dad to tell him about my plans to drop out of university to work full-time at a tanning salon at the suggestion of my boyfriend who “really just sees potential in mixing paints at sherman-williams for a while.” he replied with, “who asked YOU out???? LOL!” okay POPS, you’ll be having the last laugh at the expense of my so-sad-it’s-almost-hilarious love life when i finish my memoir about the aforementioned trials and tribulations with boys that i will aptly title infinite jest. eat your heart out dad, and eat your heart out david foster wallace!

national humor month! i can’t believe nobody pilliaged my blog and burned it at the stake to rectify all the horrible, unfunny things i’ve ever said, especially after tina fey’s bossypants came out this month, which i just purchased yesterday and already read it cover-to-cover. i love that woman. in 6th grade health class, we created “me boxes,” which was just a paper covered box that, on each side, we wrote about who we were, what hobbies we enjoyed, what we wanted to do when we grow up, etc.

“what i’d really like is to do wayne’s world for a living. it might happen. yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”

the humorous? pathetic? endearing? part about this is that my plans for the future have hardly deterred, except for the part where i want to write a movie. i don’t think i have the patience or talent to pen a screenplay or be surrounded by actors all the time. i also don’t know how to write fluidly without the assistance of funny gifs i didn’t make or youtube videos i also didn’t make. except for this one:

spring break! what were your plans? i’m on spring break now and last night i raged with my parents by watching “it’s complicated.” i actually have a legitimate fear that my father might leave my mom for alec baldwin. he kept letting out these deep sighs of affection and saying “look at alec,” like he was looking at him at the end of the aisle at their quixotic civil union ceremony. he also let out these peter griffin-esque chortles at everything alec did. so glad we chose not to watch the hunt for red october, because not only is he 20x the babe in that (making it 20x more likely for my dad to suddenly divorce my mom and start showing up at 30 rock tapings) but also, this. gross.

i wish i could be on a real spring break right now but i need to afford groceries for when i move into my new apartment so that i’m not living post-apocolyptic style a la the road eating decomposing sewer rat carcasses coated in a-1 steak sauce (not like that’s any different than college food, CHARTWELLS). maybe one day i’ll bring shame to my family by wyling out on camera in acapulco, mexico but for now i’ll just spend my days making a little bit above minimum wage to support my kashi cereal habit. junkie.

4/20! that’s my mom’s birthday! that’s hitler’s birthday! that’s the anniversary of the columbine massacre! that’s a national holiday for pot smokers everywhere! that’s not all, either. yikes!

easter and passover are almost upon us! jewish friends: have you stayed kosher? are you preparing for tomorrow’s the fast of the firstborn (yay firstborns!)? christian friends: have you eaten so many peeps and jelly beans that you’ve actually given yourself type 2 diabetes? have you broken lent/your second shot at a new years resolution? i slipped up on my sweets intake after about two weeks. it seemed as though dessert continually came up in conversation, and as the beach boys once said, “you know it seems the more we talk about it, it only makes it worse to live without it.” that’s why i also gave up hot showers. i haven’t ditched the idea of asceticism completely. doin’ it for Jesus.

if april showers bring may flowers, i’m holding next month to the highest of expectations!

i can attest to the need to take charge of my love life because if i left it in the hands of all the wonderful undergraduate males at school, nothing would get done. nothing gets done anyway, but it’s like studying even though you know you’ll receive a d; all that matters is that you tried. however, i think that’s a quality more indicative of impatience rather than my standing as the oldest child. as the first-born, i just want to meet someone else who has faced the scarring experience of being the guinea pig of the family. not only was i an accident, but i was an experiment as well. it sounds to me like my upbringing is the plot of young frankenstein! what isn’t there to love about a mel brooks film?

really? being a little extra sociable might lead to breaking the ice with someone? can this reasoning be supported by occam’s razor? it seems a little complex to me.

firstly, i would like to call attention to the facial expression of the secret service agent on the right. cheer up charlie, no need to frown. you sorta look like jack dorsey, co-founder of this little underground website you might have heard of called TWITTER.

holy mother of all gentile men, where have you been all my life? the cyber children of our chimerical relationship would be beautiful.

secondly, does this surprise anyone? when was the last time anyone admitted to being able to tolerate, let alone enjoy or respect katie holmes acting? probably never. maybe after pieces of april, which was her first “serious role” after dawson’s creek. and by “serious role,” i mean an hour and a half of katie holmes trying to cook a turkey for her super dysfunctional family and saying swear words because that’s so edgy. you go get that oscar, girlfriend.

first susan sarandon and tim robbins, and now this?!

in the wake of the 99th anniversary of the sinking of the rms titanic, i would like to announce that LARGE SEA VESSELS SUCK. i’m grateful for leonardo dicaprio’s career, but other than occasionally thinking about sneaking on an atlantis gay cruise ship or wanting to reenact this, i have little to no desire to ride on a boat bigger than my entire neighborhood. maybe if your nervous system depends on only adrenaline is this considered “stunning.” it looks like an impending panic attack to me. 

the list contained bland and benign suggestions like “make sure the food is good!” and “remember ice breakers!” please. we all know things that can really ruin a party, like inviting uncle john who makes keith moon on a bender look like child’s play. or leaving on two and a half men on as background music. or bringing up the time your cousin brian passed out and shit himself on the couch christmas eve ’96. or having your parents show “this little blog thing” to your entire extended family and having to retell in painstaking detail the experience of what it’s like to cut a thong off your body in the middle of class. the unmentioned “tacky move to avoid” is eating the last slice of cheese pizza.

please, share with us normies the most intimate details of what it’s like to have a famous lawyer for a father, a friendship with paris hilton, a sex tape, and butt implants. i wonder what yahoo employee went home after having to write about her “secrets” to success and weeped into his $200,000 journalism degree. i know i’m doing that right now! #partytime

let’s play a rousing game of “have you ever?” if you’re not familiar, it’s a party game and a fun way to explore the diversity of the people with whom you’re playing, but it’s also a thinly-veiled device for nosy folks to find out your idiosyncrasies and secrets.

have you ever…

…loved somebody so much it made you cry?

…seen the rain?

…been so photogenic that people have asked if you were thom yorke’s inspiration behind “creep?” i’m just like an angel, my skin makes you cry…

…been so jaded from the frigidness of winter that you find yourself walking to class in a manner similar to the way bruce springsteen plods through downtown philadelphia in the music video for “philadelphia?” this is about being tom hanks and having aids, right?

…hooked up with someone because you like their blog?

…created a ringtone out of r.kelly singing “vibrate” in his best falsetto?

…had a reoccuring dream since 9th grade that you’re the one reading the o.j. simpson verdict?

OJ Simpson Not Guilty Verdict by TECHNOLOGOS
…gone to school with this guy?

i should also mention that the bros that discovered HINDER also graduated from my university. i wonder how many people have ever had make-up sex to “lips of an angel.” it must feel so good to be the gatekeepers of something that amazing.

…been horrible at wearing dresses and sat on a couch and the damned thing rode up and the control-top tights you borrowed from your mom were clearly visible to everyone sitting around you?

…donated money to japan to assist in the relief efforts in the wake of the tsunami? because you should.

…and lastly, have you ever daydreamed in class and wrote different variations of papa roach’s “last resort” lyrics based on what you were doing or thinking?

original lyrics:

cut my life into pieces/ this is my last resort / suffocation / no breathing / don’t give a fuck / if i cut my arm bleeding

my own covers:

cut my life into dining halls / this is my last meal swipe / digestion / and feeding / don’t give a fuck / if i get too full eating

cut my life into midterms / this is my only test / must study / no facebook / don’t give a fuck / if i end up a fry cook

cut my life into sleeping / this is my great siesta / dreaming / no snoring / don’t give a fuck / if that seems boring

it looks like i’m not the only one who thought of this, either…

aol – i frequently received free cd trials in the mail and installed them on my computer despite my father telling me that i couldn’t because we had internet at my house that didn’t require logging off every time a member of the family needed to use the phone. do you remember elizabeth? the one whose parents smoked marijuana and forced me to fetch gross napkins out of the bottom of their pool filter? i used to go to her house in 3rd grade to play barbie pet rescue. when her mom was busy not supervising us, we puttered aimlessly on aol. obligatory dial-up noise:

we mostly loitered in chatrooms, but one time we began to type in a website that began with b (and keep in mind that her parents didn’t have parental controls set up) and backdoorboys.com popped up by accident. needless to say we looked at each other like

and never discussed that moment again.

the palace - it must necessary explain the palace since nobody i know ever used it and rightfully so, because it was for LOSERS. a virtual chat client, the palace allowed one to use an avatar and move from room to room or palace to palace if desired. each palace had a hierarchy of authority:  owner, head god, god, head wizard, and wizard. consider it a step down from dungeons and dragons. i went on it mostly for the dolls:

fun fact: i went on the palace so much i could draw those from scratch on ms paint. as time went on, the “dollz” grew more intricate and the flaxen-haired strumpets above were exhiled on palace because females looking to cyber would use them as an avatar to convey a look that said “i am two-dimensional, poorly drawn, and i want to have online sex with you.” i’m really not kidding when i say nothing on the internet surprises me anymore because i truly have seen all it has to offer; the palace was one of the many seedy underbellies (newgrounds, rotten.com, and ebaumsworld are just a few) of the internet that exposed me to things i probably could have waited until i was older to see.

why though? openpalace.org if you feel like subjecting yourself to a small handful of weird europeans. around 8 years ago, most of the people who frequented palace were 18-24 so it only makes sense that hardly anyone lurks that place; basement-dwellers have to grow up sometime! including me!

geocities/angelfire/expages- i started (and subsequently abandoned) about 1000 expages because they were cheap, and i only had to deal with designing the page to my liking and making my life seem as interesting as possible, which it wasn’t, since i was all of 10/11. expages always deleted my sites because in addition to illegally using the midi version of “my heart will go on, i constantly lied and claimed to be 13.

aim - ahh, good ol’ instant messenger. my cousin andrea used aol/aim before i did, and when my family purchased a pc around 3rd grade, my dad downloaded aim so that i could stay in touch with andrea. my first screename? bunnysnappers, the monkier of my pet rabbit. around 50 screenames later, i settled on queenlaureniv, which i still use today. i fondly remember sunday nights, when everyone appeased their homework procrastination with 8 p.m. chat sessions. laguna beach aired on the same night too, so there was this witching hour from 9-10pm where every girls status would be “LAGUNA BEACH. SHOWER. BED. SCHOOL. <333.” writing the initials of your best friends in the designated profile was the precursor to myspace top 8. it caused as many fights as warning people to 100%, resulting in that individuals inability to log on until the percentage dropped.

and yes, all of my buddy icons came from badassbuddy.com.

icq - i had to ask my father for permission before i could create my own account in 4th grade. my mom and dad watched me as i signed on and their eyes widened in bewilderment/concern as some wanker a/s/led me within my first two seconds on icq. i had to explain to them what that entailed (cybering, derp) and i deleted it before any more questions could be asked.

you should know that i typed icp by accident a few times while i typed this. juggalette for life!!

livejournal/deadjournal/xanga/- tokyocookie. my ex-step-cousin’s endearingly called one of his asian friends “tokyo cookie.” i find it slightly paradoxal that i dubbed this blog “itslaurenservideo.com” since i used to hate my name and took every excuse to coerce people to call me something else. i’m not asian but tokyocookie was and still is my livejournal name. i have 4 entries (two of them are surveys) dated 2001-2002 and i haven’t updated since. i use it for commenting on ohnotheydidnt occasionally. i REALLY wrote this:

*poetry powerhouse*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also, all those people were from the palace. sometimes, there are no words. only gifs.

ok I kno i sound really stupid but…i really wish my parents didn’t let me have a computer until i was at least 30.

webshots- in the dawn of the digital camera, everyone in middle school had webshots. we used webshots in conjuction with aim, and frequently posted links to new albums of the past weekend’s sleepover or benign junior high party. i used it until the end of 9th grade, when myspace (see below) rose to the forefront of social networking websites. i posted this in 8th grade on picture day…

my black shirt from delia*s hid my SaVvY louis vuitton belt (white murakami print, as fake as taco bell meat). a t-mobile sidekick might be the only thing that could make this picture appear more ridiculous.

…and late 9th grade:

my cousin dom says that it’s normal to feel “uncomfortable when thinking back to the inappropriately strange things you and your friends used to do/tell each other when you had to make your own fun before the days of drinking/drugs/going to the mall/concerts.” these photographs document those moments. what makes my case especially unique is that i didn’t go to my first concert until i was 16, and i never had a drink until my second year of college. so that uncomfortable inappropriateness? that lasted a lot longer than it should have. should you decide to browse through my pictures (and you’re welcome to, i guess), please don’t judge me for my captions and head-to-toe abercrombie. if i could afford it, i would still be an aberzombie. half joking. check out my secret youtube channel for abercrombie, ugg and hollister hauls:

myspace- a month shy from my freshman year of high school, i wanted to get to know some of the girls from the other middle school in our school district. so i set up a myspace, coded the ever-living SHITE out of it(i had gwen stefani’s “cool” in my bio), and added them all. i mostly took surveys and  the occasional picture post. never did the whole “~pc4pc!!~” thing. i didn’t add a million people to become myspace popular but i did take pull a tom anderson and take MAD MIRROR SHOTS:

tumblr: i once saw someone reblog a picture that said: myspace (2007), facebook (2008), twitter (2009), formspring (2010), tumblr (forever). that is a bold faced lie. tumblr reminds me of myspace so much that it hurts, and look what happened to that. my[_____]. no thanks. i use it for archiving. take a peek.

facebook! i deleted it the other day and i came running back into mark zuckerberg’s arms in less than 24 hours. all i do is creep on boys and write meaningful statuses…

also, rip to everyone who perished (ugly word) in the haitian earthquake. my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

february: went on chatroulette a lot this month. dyed the ends of my hair blonde but in no time they shriveled up like the clementine peel i accidentally left in the back seat of my car for two weeks and thus….snip snip snip. looked horrible in february not only because of the cold but because i hated having short hair so i would just leave it up in a ponytail or a gaga bow and let it dread (see below). this was also the month of the epic sonnet left in the snow at 7 in the morning! check out that entry. i’ll never forget feeling like detective lennie briscoe (rip jerry orbach and rip law and order) using the sharpening & rotate tools on photoshop to figure out what it said. dedicated to my craft.

march: jackie turned 15. she will be on the road in three months so hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband because she is running everyone over out there. this is the month of the one good picture we have together, and it isn’t even that great!

april: it was in april that i vowed to never, EVER wear american apparel cotton jersey spandex double u-neck dresses again. i took a set of photos with my beautiful friend lindsay in a heather gray version of the dress and i almost died. so unflattering if you are any bigger than kiera knightely! i was pissed nobody told me sooner that my boobs no longer looked like melons, which is cute and sort of endearing, but instead they looked like BASKETBALLS. bank shot you jerks. you have to remember that i grew these suckers (that makes my chest sound like a luscious garden and i can’t tell if that’s cool or not) within in the past few years so i still am getting used to what they look good in & such. it was only 5 years ago my mom used to call me “one-breasted betty.” thanks a lot everyone!

may: who could forget may? the end of school, the transition between spring and summer, and MY FACE. i don’t even want to put pictures of anything other than my lovely and swollen visage. 3:10 to craigslist missed connections town, all aboard!

june: started nannying. never did work on those nanny diaries, mostly because the children hated me.

that month i thought i saw another eddie. eddie murphy. at a bus stop in albany.

july: i used to go on holiday with my family to the mecca of  lower middle-class america: wildwood, nj. the expenses for traveling and staying there for a week eventually took a toll on my family budget so we have been going elsewhere ever since. this year, my cousin dom invited me to come once again for a week and i am forever indebted to her and my aunt for making that stay everything i wanted it to be. easily one of the best times in my entire life.

august: back to school with the best suitemates! it’s so weird seeing people wear tank tops. i miss summer!

september: more school. discovered fat booth.

october: i have been waiting for this month because it contains the best week of my entire life. honestly, 19 years and excluding vacations, i had the bestweekever.tv. i went to the city on october 3rd to celebrate the 30th birthday of one of my favorite people, my cousin alicia. i took the train to meet up with my cousin dom (a family that blogs together, stays together) at her college to see how her academic life was going. i got to hang out and see all of sha’s cool, successful friends which i always like doing because she tends to keep really good company. i was truly forlorn at the thought of having to go back to albany but i had to turn 19 somewhere, and i wanted it to be with my mom, dad and grandparents at CHEESECAKE FACTORY on october 6th. on october 9th, i went apple picking with my suitemates and best of friends jenny and grace, and then i went to the movies with a bunch of strangers who knew my now amazing best of friend gabriella. but as someone much wiser than i once said, “there are no strangers. only friends you haven’t met yet.” been hanging out every day with these dudes (sorry for using the d-word. i know that is unladylike) ever since. my gpa even went up a point because i had to go into overtime to make up for maxin and relaxin until 2 am every school night. 4.0; watch out, i’m stealing your scholarships. oops, i digress. i like you guys in case you didn’t know. thank u for being a friend:

this was the best month because i also went to syracuse with some people i love. i celebrated halloween at mia wallace and gene simmons. i’m including lots of pictures:

november: happy birthday dad. and happy thanksgiving. and other stuff(ing)(yum).

cute bro snuggle:

december: lots of bowling and lots of denny’s runs. started a new job. tried playing world of warcraft but i just am not olivia munn/cool girl gamer. became mayor of stuffs on foursquare which i accidently call formspring all the time. waxed my arm on accident. celebrated christmas! finally updated the blog and it took me two entire hours. but it was worth it.

and now i have to go get ready (and be ready, i mean de-crustify myself and brush out my weave) for ringing in the new year right. here’s hoping that tonight, leonardo dicaprio kisses me at midnight and maybe even slips in a little tongue. and touches the small of my back with one hand and cradles the back of my head with the other hand. i hate my imagination so much. it hurts my heart to have to say goodbye to 2010, but happy almost 2011 everyone!!

1) deaf

2) an idiot

my cousin dom and i have composed an ongoing list of all the lyrics i have screwed up, videos included:

thom yorke’s lyrics: “but i’m a creep/ i’m a weirdo”

my lyrics: “but i’m a creep/ i’m a winner”

biggie/bone thugs and harmony lyrics: “high off weed and lots of gin”

my lyrics: “high off weed and loxygen.” i thought maybe loxygen was some sort of prescription drug, like oxycontin. oops

more biggie lyrics: “hah, sicker than your average poppa/ twist cabbage off instinct”

my lyrics: “hah, sicker than your ass cheeks/ cabbage on instinct”

rolling stone lyrics: “wild horses, we’ll ride them someday”

my lyrics: “wild horses, we’ll write them someday”

elton john’s lyrics: “pretty eyed, pirate smile”

my lyrics: “pretty eyes, pirate’s mine”

elton john’s lyrics: “hold me closer tiny dancer/ count the headlights on the highway/ lay me down in sheets of linen/ you had a busy day today”

my lyrics: “hold me closer tony danza/ count the headlights on the highway/ baby darlin’ sheets i’m winning/ how it feels today, to-day”

five for fighting lyrics: i’m only a man/ in a funny red sheet

my lyrics: i’m only a man/and there’s fourty red sheep

nobody knew this until just now, but once i e-mailed five for fighting after they performed ‘superman’ on a larry king live episode right after 9/11…also, once i wrote a letter to shel silverstein about how much i loved where the sidewalk ends, and i’m such a freeloader that i even asked for a copy of a signed book. then he died. the letter never even reached him…i just received a letter from his publisher letting me know he died.

anyways, it’s been a while since i’ve done a lip syncing video and since this entry is music themed, i thought it was appropriate. in case you didn’t already know, i like to perfect my lip syncing skills when i am procrastinating, which has been a daily routine since thirteen (kekekeke notorious big). my hair has changed since some of these date back to early 2009. SO MUCH DYSFUNCTION:

edit: since i’ve uploaded this entry, jenny and dom have contributed some of their own lyric fumbles:

la roux lyrics: this time baby/i’ll be bulletproof

jenny lyrics: this time baby/ i’ll be babe ruth

daddy yankee lyrics: a ella le gusta gasolina

dom lyrics: a ella le gusta la diarrhea

cryingwife.com

i typically wear soft, cushy underwear because i sport dresses on an almost daily basis, and GOD forbid i have an unwanted marilyn monroe moment in windy upstate new york, i don’t want my booty (i hate that word so much. why am i using it?) revealed to perfectly good strangers. not to mention, thongs (the good kind, the kind that fit,) can be too comfortable and i forget i have them on; paranoia ensues when i think i forgot to wear undergarments to class. regardless, every budding young woman knows that sometimes you need thongs for two legitimate reasons:

1) when a pair of pants/a skirt/a dress is so form-fitting that outline of underwear just ruins the illusion, you need a thong.

2) when lil jon goes “can i play witcho panty line?,” you need a thong.

TODAY WAS DIFFERENT

today, i wore an outfit that would probably make vladimir nabokov shart his boxer-briefs, or humbert humbert if you’re into lolita (or understand that practically every male protagonist nabokov ever conceived was simply a manifastation of himself/his desires to sleep with little girls. seriously, lolita is a better version of o.j. simpson’s “if i did it”). look at this:

not pictured:

1) lace bib attatched to the neckline of the dress

2) THESE SHOES

she was lo, plain lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. and you know what she did today? she decided to wear a thong two sizes too small made of lace and tulle (good one, h&m) because she had no undies left that wouldn’t show through the material of the dress. this sounds sexy in theory.

so, yeah, i dashed to my new american cinema class to watch kramer vs kramer before i knew about the troubles this piece of lingerie would cause. and, to quote mr. bill shakespeare, it was the best of times, and it was the worst of times; kramer vs. kramer has been at the top of my “to watch” list since i love meryl streep and dustin hoffman almost as much as i love my mom and dad, but i couldn’t enjoy it since the scratchiest fabric in the HISTORY of the textile industry was flossing my bum with the same tenacity a meth addict might floss his teeth before his first dentist appointment in 5 years.

by the time i reached the point where billy innocently asks ted if the reason mommy left is because he is bad, i had enough. i wanted to CRY at that movie and not at the un-godly natal cleft asphyxiation that was happening under my dress. because i love sobbing at movies.

those who have followed my blog for a while or have encountered me on chat roulette know that i carry around a blade for protection. prior to today, i only used it for cutting slices of cheese. but that all changed at around 7pm, when i sliced my thong off my body to relieve the pain of it cutting off my circulation from the waist down. i inconspicuously snipped the seam where the silk and the tulle met on each side, and it sort of came apart in the same manner a diaper unlatches. from there i could quickly and quietly take it and shove it in my bag to show to jenny and grace (and you all). and then finish the movie. and then LEAVE.

but you also might be asking why i didn’t just slip them off. i blame it on the fact that i could be a lot more discreet cutting the skivvies off than peeling it off my body, as it really was suctioned onto my waist and the seats in the lecture center are SO SQUEEKY. furthermore, i typically sit to the front of the lecture center, and there was nary an angle to be found that would successfully shield me from the judgmental eyes of my classmates.

you might be sitting at your computer going

here you go:

just kidding, here you go

needless to say i was able to watch dustin hoffman fight for the custody of his son and i shed a tear (i won’t spoil it, i promise) at the ending, not because of the near-lethal intimates, but because it WAS JUST SO GREAT. really, really great.

hopefully this won’t happen when we watch easy rider next week.

itswesleysnipes.com?

maybe!