STOP. IT.

this is why i will never go on a cruise, ever. there is no convincing me otherwise. my dad loves fishing and using our friends boat on lake placid and i can barely stand that. well, the first few minutes anyway. it’s a motor boat (ha ha ha ha) so it’s not a mammoth of a sea vessel but still. once you get out on the water it’s nice.

me, driving.

similar to the way you should not try to tame KILLER WHALES, you should not have cruise ships that have all that stuff in them: restaurants, multiple swimming pools, bedrooms, etc. it’s just an xzibit macro waiting to happen. however, my favorite movie is titanic so making this into a movie (starring leonardo dicaprio) might convince me to watch it. or leonardo could sit next to me while we watched it together and he could do that fake cough that slowly leads into putting his arm behind me and then i look at him and smile and then i catch him looking at me and then he catches me looking at him but i am mildly awkward around men so the next time i see him i don’t know what to say and he thinks i don’t like him and i do and i’d like to take a minute just sit right there, i’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air. in west philadelphia born and raised on the playground is where i spent most of my days. chillin out, maxin, relaxing all cool just shootin some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys said “we’re up to no good” started making trouble in my neighborhood. i got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said “you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air.” i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said “FRESH” and there were dice on the mirror. if anything i could say that this cab was rare but i thought “now forget it, yo home- to bel-air!” i pulled up to the house around seven or eight and yelled to the cabby “yo home, smell ya later!” looked at my kingdom i was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

anyways, i shouldn’t even be going to class even though i am definitely having fever hallucinations (if anyone from any of my classes reads this, now you know why i have been bumping into all the desks) but there are places to go and upperclassmen hotties to stare at while i mouth breathe because i can’t inhale through my nose. does this sound like a taylor swift song if taylor swift was a Catholic, self depreciating loser? yeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

onward! to youtube screencaps. when i lived at home my sister and i abused the tivo when it came to pausing at certain moments to catch people with the worst/funniest faces. someone call child protective services!!

i just have to comment…WHAT IS that waist? give me your corset marianne thornberry!! this looks just like my french teacher from high school

oh my, the things i would do to myself if i were actually marlon brando. it’s too early in the morning for me to even be thinking about that without exploding.

actually, wanna know something i learned the other day? vivian leigh, who in the clip is the one that wants to intervene the fight, also played scarlett o’hara in gone with the wind. she always plays the *token* southern belle in old films and is pretty much what the rest of the world thinks we (the us) sound like. she actually is british but was born in india. crazy, right? i listened to her give the best oscar speech ever yesterday:

can you imagine if we all continued to talk like that? i would be elated. what i’m not elated about are all the fan videos of scarlett o’hara on youtube:

the message of the song is almost perfectly aligned with that in the movie, but c’mon, kelly clarkson? i want those dresses though. too bad everyone was racist and misogynistic back then, otherwise i would go there on vacation like that one episode of family guy where the ~future~ way to vacation is going back in time.

- muffins. mmmmm, pumpkin, blueberry and corn are my favorite. if my thyroid and metabolism weren’t so nasty, i would eat them for breakfast everyday. i think their appeal for me is the fact that i can’t have them very often. they say forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, but i guess in my case, it’s muffins.

- a good war romance movie- i just saw atonement for the first time today and i think i am still reeling? i think the point of a movie is to pull one away from his/her life and into another realm and these do it for me moreso than say, a romantic comedy. the notebook is like this, and probably dear john but i heard it sucks hardcore so we will pretend it doesn’t exist, the english patient, cold mountain, etc.

- wifebeater and slacks combo (or when you can see a wifebeater under a mans outfit)-

alexander skarsgard in lady gaga’s “paparazzi” music video

that scene from the notebook

and that other scene, from atonement (i’ll get over this movie, just give me time)

marlon brando in a street car named desire (it’s not a wifebeater but undershirts do come close):

paul newman:

paul newman but without slacks (it doesn’t matter):

there are a lot more where those came from but this blog would go on forever if i actually included them all!

- a good book- i know i talk about movies allll the time on this blog, the moral of the story is that i can get sucked in easily if there is good plot and character development, and the same goes for novels. as i’ve said before, my empathy/living vicariously through other skills are VERY fine-tuned so, as sci-fi and cliche as it sounds, nothing better is putting down a book and feeling light-headed or disturbed or feeling like you want to change the world. the latter emotion comes from reading “to kill a mockingbird,” which is my favorite book and took part in inspiring me to pursue writing (or journalism, rather) as a career. this blog has nothing to show for my writing but i feel like as a journalist, you have the ability to be an advocate for anything that spurs your interest. wow, i just realized how sappy i just got but you get the picture!

- sense of humor- i’m trying to think of a valued friend who doesn’t have a sense of humor and i’m drawing a blank

i’m sure i have a lot more weaknesses but 1) im starting to get into “what i like about the opposite sex” territory and nobody cares about that but me 2) studying for my philosophy test is more imperative. ciao~

AAANYWAYS, there is this ABSOLUTELY AWE-INSPIRING (alliteration) group i just found called “Spongebob’s face when he figured out Squidward likes Krabby Patties.” ahhhhhhh! anyone who has read this blog knows i have used this a multitude of times:

i don’t care if spongebob was played out by hot topic girls 6 years ago, the faces he makes are perfect for reaction pictures. ay ay, captain:

(sorry to whoever i stole this spongebob dress pic from, but its gold)

hopefully i won’t have to take this off of youtube because of perverts because i would love to save it for future suitors who are debating whether or not to take my hand[y] in marriage. am i being suggestive enough? abstinence is hilarious. last week was sexuality week at my school and i went to a q&a session with my friends and as it turns out, most women don’t climax through intercourse. at first we were like

but we were sadly corrected:

as a virg, this spurned more anger from me

i got over it.

anyways, tonight i am probably going to consist of doing homework and watching bootleg movies off the internet. and not eating chocolate, because chocolate is DISGUSTING. i am not a real woman, don’t remind me. happy valentines day!

oh, side note, i am sitting in my parents room writing this and my dog just did a human fart and i jumped a mile. i thought there was a burglar in the house who had to let one rip b/c the sound that just emitted from her b-hole was NOT dog-like. i digress…

anyways, mcqueen’s death has been itching and scratching at my brain for the past few days. it eats away at me just thinking about his state of mind, thinking there are no other ways to be happy on this planet except for not being here at all. from the “trial and death of socrates,” socrates said “no one knows with regard to death wheather it is not really the greatest blessing that can happen to man; but people dread it as though they were certain it is the greatest evil.” how crazy is it to think that despite the fact that the life after this one (if there is another life after this one,) could be abhorrent, some people are still willing to take that chance just to bypass the troubles they are experiencing now.

troubled artists intrigue me to no end, especially ones that die before they hit their true potential, or at their peak; vincent van gough, kurt cobain, elliot smith, heath ledger, and cripe, even michael jackson. i know i am going to regret saying this the next time someone on the internet acts like a idiot, but sometimes there is so much beauty in the world that i can’t concentrate on anything else. my disposition also includes that everything is temporary. so while beauty and happiness can’t be with me forever, sadness can’t either so i guess i should bask in the ecstasy while i still can.

i wish that i could bake a cake made of rainbows and smiles, and we’d all eat it and be happy! rip a. mcq, you are missed horribly! your virtuosity will be imitated, ~never duplicated~

(ghetto throwback but it’s awesome)

songs for valentines day night (WIIIIIIIIINKKKK), divided into soft and rough play lists. don’t be typical and forget to use contraception. i love the word of God but for anyone who is my age, DON’T BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY. if you forget, boys and girls, i will make you watch antichrist on loop for 24 hrs straight.. okay, now onto the playlists…

soft playlist, created by yours truly:

- fade into you ~ mazzy star

- secret garden ~ i’ve been listening to this NON stop lately. jerry macguire! worked for tom cruise. plus, the boss always knows how to croon

- come away with me ~ norah jones. if my memory serves me correctly, j.lo and amon goeth (lol, jk, ralph finnes) knocked boots to this in maid in manhattan.

- knockin on heaven’s door ~ bob dylan

- lets get it on ~ marvin gaye. y’all knew this was coming! classic for a reason

- wonderwall ~ oasis. i used to be like ugh, why does every girl cream herself to this song? ohhhh, i get it now. noel and liam are buttheads, and this song is overplayed so hard but i really enjoy it regardless.

- wild horses ~ the rolling stones

- wonderful tonight ~ eric clapton. i think peter and lois made luv~ to this on family guy

- angie ~ the rolling stones. perf if your girl is an andrea/angie. i’m sure most people would find it weird but its ~sensual

- hallelujah ~ jeff buckley. if you are emo. i can see a girl liking this but a dude being like ~ew~. but isn’t most of this soft list for ladiez anyway?

- iris ~ googoo dolls. i would probably laugh in your face but a professional pole dancer named felix cane (youtube her, she makes an art of it, i swear) did a routine to this song and it was nothing short of gorgeous.

- just the two of us ~ al green. lol

- maybe im amazed ~ by either paul mccartney or jem

- more than words ~ extreme

rough-ish:

- i can’t quit you baby  & since i’ve been loving you~ led zeppelin. #1 recommendations from this list

- foxey lady ~ jimi hendrix. #2

- you shook me all night long ~ ac/dc. AWESOME. it’s kind of my #1 but in a different way. can’t articulate it.

- you shook me ~ led zeppelin. yeah, they are all over this rough list. this kinda sounds like the intro to rosanne, season 1 but she’ll get over it

- when the levee breaks ~ led zeppelin

- turn the page ~ bob segar

- beast of burden ~ the rolling stones. these guys are just really good

- five to one ~ the doors

- lady ~ lenny kravitz

- oops oh my ~ tweet. throwback, kinda ghetto, but will do the job

break-up songs, if you are a d

- free bird ~ lynyrd skynyrd. i actually wouldn’t mind if my boyfriend was trying to dump me and played this acoustically to me. playing it off your ipod or whatever is cheating, you have to do it yourself if you want it to work

big bold capitals: I LOST YOU. I can’t take back the words or the feelings.

Everything is harder without you by my side to guide me.

It’s everything I took for granted. Tell me why I hate yu and love yu all at the same time.

You’re everything I never knew I needed.

I wish I could take everything back to be with yu again. It’s impossible!

Nothing about this will change. I keep forgetting to forget about yu! </3

i am trying really hard not to rip this to shreds because i know that it must have taken some effort (even though it sounds like a jonas brothers secret). but let’s be honest…this is the only thing it’s missing:

it would have been easier to do this on twitter!! 140 character limit: u r evrything i nvr new i needed..

- everyone i’ve seen on the internet seems to think taylor swift is going to win the coveted award, “album of the year” and even the runner up, “record of the year” (and not “song of the year,” as is the misconception. best song is for the songwriter, record is for the artist). my gut tells me yes for song, mostly because she is up against beyonce for “halo” (which i personally hate and i don’t think i’m alone in this sentiment), “i gotta feeling” by b.e.p. (never, ever), and “use somebody” by kings of leon (alright, but they’re new so i doubt it). “pokerface” by lady gaga could win but i heard they’re pretty stingy against dance music. as far as taylor swift’s album win, i’m leaning toward no for no particular reason at all. another gut instinct i guess? i wish lady gaga and taylor could just share the award because i want them both to win. i would have included bey, but she already has like 34839 grammy’s under her belt.

- …i feel like all this hype means dave matthews band (barfffffffff) will win out of the blue? i really hope they don’t. sorry.

even though im mostly a classic rock girl, i love both these songs about equally. speechless is a good ballad and fearless is….sorta….inspiring. which album will win? hmmm…