gabby saulsbery: i saw the movie ‘earth’ and i found out that polar bears can drown
person i like katy pinkham: yeah….i’ve been thinking about that for months

and

person i like justine Justine: the country setting
me aka Lauren: oh right?????????!!!
Lauren: i was going to do cold mountain
Justine: ew
Justine: lol, I’m using The Poisonwood Bible
Lauren: barbara kingsolver
Lauren: o girl
Lauren: you and your sex scenes
Justine: what!?
Lauren: um her writers on writing was all abotu sex scenes
Justine: really?
Lauren: yee
Justine: I didn’t realize, or else I totally would have done her
Justine: um, no pun intended, lol

congrats on being hilarious and awesome

in other news, my thyroid is the patrick bateman of all thyroids. it is a raging psychopath and wont cooperate with my body and is being super slow. my mom consulted a herbologist since my actual prescribed medication is sucking. he gave me a ton of vitamins and such. then he dropped the bomb that i would need to cut all carbs and sugar from my diet for three weeks

oh yeah, butter is a carb and no karen i cant go to taco bell because im on an all carb diet NO CARB DIET AHHH. its going to be almonds and grapefruit and water the next 3 weeks. i told justine i would bake vegan cupcakes with her after the ap lit exam. i guess that means i cant eat one now.  no yogurt, oatmeal, or juice. or mangoes. which is essentally what i live on. no lean cuisines either.

anyways, here are some secrets from the site

like, really? how delusional can you get? i get it, everyone has their own interests blah blah blah…but its the jonas brothers. the “jobros” saved your life? dang, give yourself some credit. someone from another site so eloquently captioned that picture “it’s hard out there for a box of mini wheats.” LOLLLL  

my emotions when i initially stumbled upon jonassecrets were ones of disgust and laughter. i will display them for you

( i love the context of the gif of scrubs boy laughing…it is from clueless and this is what he says right after: “Yo, look! Are you bitches blind or something? Your man Christian is a cake boy.”)

the website incase you were curious: http://jonassecrets.tumblr.com/

Jah! Rastafarianism
Yes I, Ras Trent
Ba-da ding-ding-ding-ding whooaaaaa!
Who dem?
You no want test me champion sound

Oh fire pon Babylon
and fire pon a batty boy
Rude boy living in the shanty dorms
My roommate Nick is an ignorant bald-head

Now chant down Babylon
midterm essays
Then puff from de chalice
I fi make from a Sprite can

Last week I read a book
about Selassie I
Then told my bomboclat parents
I was switching religions

Excuse I!
Oh hot stepper, you do so many dutty crimes
Nyabinghi!
And plus you’re fully skylarking all the time

Unnu look ya now!

Have you ever noticed
how bald-heads suck?
Ba-da-da ding-ding-ding-ding
dong-dang ding-dong duck!

Excuse I for my skanking
give thanks and praise
Me toil part-time
at jah Cold Stone Creamery

In a dub style!
Roller skates…a DVD of Cool Runnings…Murder, She Wrote
Yagga-yagga-yagga yowwww!

Are you there Jah? It’s me, Ras Trent
Are you there Jah? It’s me, Ras Trent

Are you there Jah? It’s me, Ras Trent
Please guide me (mumbles) pon your right path of righteousness

Oh stannaho, stannaho, stannaho, stannahoy Jaaaah!
Fussing and fighting and Zion and Roots
Red Stripe, Shabba, Ragamuffin culture
Me night nurse never want to plant de corn
Skiddily-whoa
Diddily, skiddily diddily diddily…(fades out)

duckie

Duckie: My girlfriend is in there and I’m here…
Duckie: Well, she’s a girl and she’s my friend, so she’s a girl friend.
Duckie: But she’s in there and I’m out here!

Duckie: You’re a sensitive, sexually potent guy. You gotta know how that hurts!

+++++++++++

Andie is driving, Duckie is flipping through a mixtape

Andie: These houses are amazing, Duck.                  
Duckie: The first million I make, I’ll buy you one. I hate this song.                  
Andie: They’re so beautiful.
Duckie: You want beauty, look in the mirror.                  
Duckie: This whole tape is horrible. 
Duckie: It must be, like, a hormone thing.
Duckie: Every song is making me sick.

Duckie: I mean, why can’t I find
a decent song here?

Andie: That was my favourite.
Duckie: Are you deaf?

Andie: The house!

Duckie: Yeah. That’s a nice little crib.
Andie: I wonder what it’s like inside.
Duckie: Well, what difference does it make?
Duckie: You know what the really sad thing is?                   
Duckie: I bet the people that live there don’t
think it’s half as pretty as I do.
Duckie: You know, Andie, I’m just…They just don’t write love songs
like they used to. I..